With the playoffs in full swing, it’s time to announce the 2010 NBA All-Ugly Team. Congratulations to the following players:
Ha ha ha. Now that the initial reaction is out of our systems, let’s all just wrap our heads around how bizarre looking this person is. He’s the type of player that most people hate, both because of his sideshow looks and his abrasive personality. However, if he was on your team you would totally love him (see also, Birdman Anderson).
Al Jefferson is…unique looking. He’s a stud, I know. There aren’t very many legit 20/10 guys in the league anymore, but he has a face like a smashed in Chevy. Sorry bro!
Charlie has alopecia and so that’s part of the reason he looks weird (no eyebrows! how would you look?) but he’s still one ugly mamba jamba in my book.
I think Troy takes the cake, you guyz. To paraphrase Seinfeld, he’s as pretty as all the rest of the players on this list, he just needs a nose job! Really though Troy, I think you have the largest nose in world and I feel bad for you.
I’ve always thought Chris Kaman looks like some kind of terrifying flesh-eating zombie or Frankenstein monster. He usually has shorter hair now (smart move), but it was awesome how gross he was with the long, wispy, balding blond hairdo.
Oh great, a portly, red-headed Mr. Potato head! You belong in a zoo potato guy! He’s also in the running for the human mascot award, and the worst player to belong to a championship team award.
Scola looks…so Argentinian. I say that with some affection since I’ve known many of them in my time, but still. Gross dude. I think guys with longer hair can look kind of cool, but you’re somehow doing it wrong.
Big Z reminds me of an extra in a Sci-Fi movie about pod people or maybe a twisted serial killer. I just think he’s spooky. Don’t kill me Big Z!
This guy is just good old-fashioned ugly.
I’ve been a fan of Kosta Koufos for a while now, but his constant underachieving has me starting to prefer the other seldom used Jazz center, Big Fes himself.
Now, yes he’s big and ugly, but he’s also the most hilarious Jazzman ever. If you have the chance to go to a Jazz game, just watch Fes during timeouts. Half the time he’s not even looking at Sloan and just staring at the jumbotron so some other player has to physically grab him and make pay attention. He just seems like some overgrown twelve-year-old in a massive body, and thus he’s goofy and funny all at the same time. He also dances quite well: